More fun with Amazon reviews: this time, Bic pens:
Mike says: Some folks are having great fun with their reviews of a standard Bic black ballpoint pen.
“I looked down at the Bic Crystal black medium ballpoint pen which I held in my hand, only to see darkness. I dashed it against the wall, recoiling in horror. I saw in the corner of my eye my faithful notebook, which now lay on the ground. Once unmarred, I saw now the small mark which I had made with the devil’s own pen. It spread across the page like a plague, and looking at it I gazed upon true horrors. For, what I thought had been ink was in fact a portal to a dark, unforgiving dimension. A portal whose maw was now widening to engulf all hope and joy in the world.
‘God, what have I done?’ I exclaimed as I weeped and fell to my knees, ‘What have I done?’
From beyond the Dark Gate I heard these words, words which I can never forget. A terrible, booming voice said to me, ‘Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!'”